moi? pourquoi?

le biscuits et le café: c'est ma vie

If you've been within a four radius of me lately, you've probably heard that I'm in the process of dying re-learning/teaching myself the entire French language. Last semester, I found out that I had to prove my proficiency in a foreign language in order to graduate. I've been in French classes on and off since seventh grade and have had about five solid years of the language. I figured, like anyone in their right mind, that all I'd have to do is dig up my old high school and both undergraduate transcripts, flash 'em to the offending party and I'd be good to go. I mean, I'm getting a Master's degree in E-N-G-L-I-S-H. I don't need to prove anything, I've had the classes!

But. I was wrong.

I was informed that I'd need to take a proficiency exam and that those college-level French classes? Don't mean a thing unless they're specifically literary based (so much for those all-nighters I pulled freshman year, studying passé composé and chugging Red Bull). I took the test once, thinking it'd be a no-brainer. They told me it was a translation test, that it'd take no more than an hour and I'd have a French dictionary to help me along. Translation? My middle name is Translation.

But. I was wrong. Again.

The test was a snippet of an article from a French Literary magazine, criticizing Cormac McCarthy's No Country for Old Men through the lens of Foucault. Now, about as close as I've ever been to anything Cormac McCarthy was admiring Josh Brolin in the film adaptation and then immediately falling asleep. As for Foucault, my five years of French makes for an outstanding pronunciation of his name and not much else. In short, the test took me two hours and I had papercuts on my fingertips from flipping back and forth throughout my 'handy' French dictionary. I hadn't studied (I ate French toast that day as a boost) and the last time I'd seen anything written in the language was when I was nineteen. I failed that thing hard.

Which leads me to now.

I contacted the professor who had given me the test and she gave me some pointers; namely, the book that she uses and teaches from during her summer Ph.D. course for non-French speaking students. Fun fact: If I don't pass this test, I get to take that class! Bonus fun fact: If I don't pass the (5000-Ph.D-level-taught-entirely-in-French-for-five-days-a-week) class with a B+ or better, I don't get my degree!


Moi? POURQUOI?